Today was probably one of the hardest of my life.

I kept myself from sobbing through most of the funeral mass, but when my grandfather said his good-byes and kissed the casket at the grave site, I was done. My cousin, who is a staff sergeant in the military and was in full uniform, saulted in honor of my grandmother and it was wonderfully beautiful and tragic. We didn’t actually see the burial, but the cemetary she will rest in is gorgeous.

She was such a large part of my life as a child and as an adolescent– it is devastating to think that I will never hear her voice again. Not having her around in Florida makes me feel as if something is constantly missing.

Hopefully I’ll be able to visit my grandpa later this summer, maybe even with Rob. He was so strong this week, he never faltered– I suppose he is somewhat relieved that she is now at peace. I mean, she had been hospitalized for the past month: incoherent, in pain. The triple bipass was just too much for her to handle. It was all downhill from there.

I’ll love her always and miss her dearly.

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